Getting ready…

I was totally unprepared. I admit that quite openly. I did not have any face masks at home. Did not have food supplies. My Wifi was not able to handle long online sessions.

Now it is different. I am usually so organised and equipped with my lists right? So I have decided to mention a little bit about my ‘prepping’ although my blog is not about prepping (and I never thought I will be making list like this ever). There are plenty of sites and very useful ones. I am not specialised in this but I do want to be prepared for next time as the governments act very very slowly and local networks including supermarkets as well.

So just very briefly – I am building basics at home. Without anxiety and using as much common sense as I am able to. I look at what I really need in a week and based on that I shop certain items and tuck them away into my cupboard.

  1. Essential medicines and First-aid kits
  2. Masks, gloves, goggles, possible a plastic face shield (did not get those, yet)
  3. Water for several days /2l per adult a day/
  4. Basic food supply
  5. Certain ‘luxury items’ like coffee, tea bags, chocolate
  6. Small alternative source cooker and supplies
  7. Radio and batteries, candles, matches

I probably forgot something but if I am able to keep these at home – I will feel calmer and more prepared than I was “last” time.

I am also looking at more long-term planning of other things like my financials, growing my own food and teaming up with people that I know I can trust.

Anyway dear friends, take care and stay healthy and calm 🙂

Mushroom hunting season
Nature as a source

 

 

Toxic people will always be there…

Long time ago I wrote about toxic people – so do I meet them now when I work remotely?

And to keep the long story short – yes, I do. They are still there. Sometimes even more toxic than during the ‘face to face’ contact. But, and this is a big BUT, I moved away significantly. There impact on my life is minimal. I am not saying that I totally don’t care. I do  – but only for about several minutes. Once I get over the initial ‘shock’, I remind myself quickly – I know why they are like this, why they are doing it and I know that I don’t want to give them my energy – literally.

Getting to this point, took me a while. Had to go through several cycles but each cycle was shorter and shorter. And now – I don’t care ( apart those first 5 minutes which I was not able to eliminate, yet). I realised that overcoming the effect of toxic people does not happen quickly – at least for me. I do have a tendency overanalyse things and replaying thing in my head.

What is my takeaway from all this? I cannot influence the toxic people – I cannot make them to be less toxic but I can stop or significantly reduce their influence. It can be done. Hurray!

Mural with a love symbol
Focus on the love and don’t give your energy to to anything toxic.

Working from home – because that is the only way now…

So…I have completed several weeks of work from home now. And just few months ago I thought that I will never work from home again….

This time round I found it quite hard. I was distracted by what was going on around me. I spent hours watching videos about the pandemic; what to prepare, how to survive and videos about what will happen next.  As a result, my productivity dropped immensely not mentioning zero motivation to work. Anxiety and fear crippled me for hours. I am not ashamed to admit it. I believe that it is O.K. to be scared and worried. It is a normal reaction. It is good to admit to yourself and your loved once. If you do that, you will be more understanding towards yourself and others will be more understanding towards you. When I realised my feelings and failings, I moved to the next step. If you read my blog regularly, you already know that I love to follow steps 🙂

I created a new routine for myself and decided to keep it. Morning routine stayed almost the same as on the “normal” work days. I created a little workspace that is shielded from my family and is fairly quiet. I have put up my board with a weekly timetable and deadlines. I left my phone in the bedroom and limited my time on the media. I have set a time for breaks (I have cut out my trips to the fridge). To make my work day more appealing, I have shorten my ‘actual’ work hours. I started my work with few silent minutes of ‘tuning’ into my work. This is an important little step for me as I need to sound friendly and enthusiastic when I talk to the clients. All of this, helped me to get into a certain tempo.

Once I moved on from feelings to action, I realised that I am actually still interested in what is going on. I even looked at new technologies that I can use and found some free courses I want to take. All of that helped me to settle into my ‘remote’ mode of working.

Did the worries disappear? No. I still have them. I don’t know what will the ‘world of work’ look like after the pandemic is over. Some people say that it will be better and some people say that it will be worse. I think – no one really knows 🙂 All I know is, that I need to have a back up plan, in case I lose my job. I know that people often recommend to go deep and focus only on one thing. But I think, for me personally, this is not a good strategy. I am looking at my skills and thinking – what can I offer to this new world which is coming but I know nothing or very little about.

Here are my very crude notes:

1/ I know, that I have to diversify.

2/ What skills do I have, what can I offer.

3/ How can I enhance my skills in the shortest time possible.

4/Can I start providing this service now at least on a small scale, perhaps during that time I gained from working at home?

I will end up this post by some basic observations that might be good to share with you . I think that I am not wrong if I say that people will always – meaning even in our uncertain future – be interested in:

  1. Health
  2. Happiness
  3. Wealth

Are you able to provide service, advice, expertise in one of those areas? Can you solve some problems people have in achieving these? Can you teach them or help them?

Last time, when I was mentioning some hot jobs, I omitted completely the tech industry. Mainly because I am totally useless with anything technology related. But if you have those skills – you might go really up now. I can see around me a great demand for apps or educational software that are simple and useful.  Or can you offer services geared up towards the industries that are under so much stress nowadays? That would be great too. Think about nurses, doctors, fire fighters , police force…Do you have something that will make their life easier, can you provide something that would be of a value to them? Or can you produce some cleaning or hygienic products? I can see a massive demand for those.

Or why not start with something small? I noticed that even now there is a demand for dog walking. Or you can offer to be a personal shopper and deliver the shopping to people who are not able to do the shopping themselves.

And one last note to end up this post with. But an important one. Never ever think that you can’t do anything. New opportunities are there already while some new once are slowly emerging. We need to notice them and decide which way we will go.

The feeling that we all are in this together is more obvious then ever. So I wish us all – sunny days ahead 🙂

Screen Shot 2020-03-27 at 2.12.03 PM

 

 

 

On toxic people and on being yourself

This is an unusual topic for me but it maybe useful for some of my readers.  I am just putting few thoughts on the paper about toxic people and how to deal with them. Mainly because I came across few of them quite recently.

One of the decisions I have made few years ago was that I will be myself – not pretending anything and not playing social games. I feel lot more balanced and happier within myself. I stress lot less and I worry about things lot less. Lots of weight is off my shoulders as I care lot less what the others think or what they might think. So that is the good part.

However, not everyone likes it. And yes, I can confirm: “You can be yourself (as is promoted by so many influencers), but there is a cost.” You need to ask yourself if you are willing to bear the cost. Because – you will meet toxic people – there is no doubt about it. And they will test you and your decision. They will laugh at you, to your face or behind your back. They will try to make a little ‘haters’ group and laugh on your account.

It has been my recent experience and I can’t say I am above it. But it is not something that will overshadow everything I have achieved or I am achieving. It does make me sad if anything. If you are in the similar situation, realising the following may help you:

  1. There will always be one person (or more) that is toxic. They will pop up sooner or later. Simply because you can’t be loved by all. No matter how hard you try. So accept this as a fact and don’t be paralysed by this when you come across people like that. You will already know, that they have to come your way and you will be ready.
  2. Remind yourself that toxic people are that way for deeper reasons (which you can’t fix). Simply because the reasons come from deeper layers within them and were formed for many years throughout their childhood to their adulthood. It took many painful experience on their part to become that way. And although logically you would expect them to be nice (because they know very well what it feels like when some is horrible to someone) – most of them are not able to do it. They cannot leave that shadow behind and rather are consumed by it.
  3. What helps me when I meet people like that – is to imagine them as kids. What happened to this kid standing in front of you? Why he/she has to act that way? Do they suffer from lack of love? Was their self-confidence badly undermined? Were they ignored and ridiculed by people who were meant to give them unconditional love? I assure you, the answer is yes. People who grew up in love don’t feel the need to be toxic. They do not see any reason for it and they don’t get any pleasure from laughing at others. And that brings me to the next point.
  4. Toxic people get pleasure from hating on others. The pleasure gets even stronger if they find like-minded people who will chime in. And yes, it sucks that it is you who they are laughing at. But know this. That feeling they get from it, is very temporary. It is a brief moment. It will never bring them long-term satisfaction because the black hole in them is getting bigger every time they try to hurt someone. It is a paradox but they themselves have to realise this in order to close that big black space inside them. It is their journey. For you, it is enough just to know that. It is not really about you. It is about them. Their emptiness inside them. The beast that they have to feed but the beast that is never satisfied. The beast that will eat them up or the beast they have to defeat one day.
  5. We always think:”Oh there must be something wrong with me, if they are hating on me. ” However, it is exactly the opposite. Toxic people have a deep rooted problem. It is so deep that it gets outside their inner world and effects the environment around them.

What I do when I come across toxic people: I stay away. I don’t play their game. I don’t socialise with them.  I don’t pretend I like them. I stay polite and I try to be neutral. I don’t want to be pulled into their game and hate them back. That leads nowhere. At the same time I strengthen my own circle of people, who are there for me. I do things that make me happy. I think positive and creative thoughts. I socialise with people I can trust. And I try to lear from it all. I know it is not easy but I know that it can be done…

I wish you luck, strength and happiness dear friends 🙂

 

Untitled design
Things that might look very complicated can have very simple explanation