First steps

When I started this blog I did not think that breast cancer will be one of the topics. Well, I was wrong. It has been on my mind for a while now. I did turn to internet – searching all

possible answers. It became clear to me how important if not crucial is to keep mum in a good spirits. How to do that, I was not sure. The first week I myself needed a help from my dear family and lot’s of tear was shed. I did not hide my pain as it seemed pointless. I did say to my family: “I knew she has to die one day – but not like this. If she is to go I hope it is going to be in sleep, having a lovely dream with a feeling of fulfilled life. That I can take. But like this…” Many people thought that my mum’s reaction is strange. Basically she did not talk about it. Only bare minimum she had to say. It seemed that she is more worried about us. It was the first thing she said to me: “ I am sorry I have to worry you all.” That is very her. Thinking about others first. From outside it looked that she took the news without big emotions. My sister-in-law asked me: “Does she even want to fight it?” My mum avoided that subject and never said the word – cancer – once.  Here and there she would break into tears but it always had to do with seemingly unimportant things. Broken glass, mess in the kitchen…I was thinking what is better for her – to avoid speaking about or let it all out? I did not find much help online on this topic and I suppose it is very individual. First few days I also pretended as if nothing happened…

Most of the articles I have read said one thing: “it is important to keep the person in a optimistic state…people who embrace it with optimistic attitude generally do better…” O.K. at least one thing to start with. I looked online for facts and statistics. Found that breast cancer actually has good chances of survival. I pulled out the numbers and showed that to mum not knowing how she would react. When I showed her the statistics her face lit up: “so there is a chance…” Everything she has been bottling in came out. All her anger, worries, disappointment. I could hear relief in her voice. After that the word cancer was not a tabu anymore. Mum showed me the lump and talked about her feelings openly: “If there is a hope it is worth trying…” It did not take long to think through a strategy – she will take the traditional route with Western medicine but at the same time she will take all the other help she can take – positive affirmations, herbal support, dietary changes and some yoga.

So first steps were made – discovering hope and laying down a plan.

Update: 2019 – having a plan worked psychologically. It brought some structure into the day and had some concrete steps. I recommend to write down things on paper. What can be done today? What can be done this week? What changes I need to make? Food plan etc.